The Power Of Love
by darveyisforever
Summary: What if Donna got pregnant after 'The Other Time' and they decided to give up their daughter for adoption? What happens when 14 years later their paths cross again, when Ava, their daughter, gets a 4 week internship at the firm? And how will Donna and Harvey figure out their feelings for each other in this mess?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story is loosely set after 7x16, but Mike and Rachel still live in NYC and didn't take any job in Seattle yet. This idea has been in the back of my mind since november/december 2018 and I thought why not give writing it another try..so here we are. This chapter is (very) short, but the next ones are probably going to be longer. Enjoy!  
**

_December 14th, 2018_

Donna sits on her couch with a glass of wine, a few tears are silently rolling down her cheek. She had tried to distract herself from the pain the reoccuring event of the 14th of december caused her and by now she has gotten pretty damn good at it. The only time she allows herself to truly feel the pain and wonder _what_ _if_ is the day itself..or she tries to at least. Her thoughts get interrupted by a soft knock on her door. She immediately knows who it is. Harvey. It's become their ritual. She doesn't even care if he sees her with puffy eyes or messy hair and clothes anymore.

"Hey." she mumbles and lets him enter. Instead of responding, he slowly wraps his arms around her. She feels incredibly safe in his embrace and can't help but feel happy that he is here, even if it is for a sad reason.

They just stand there like that, hugging, for 10 minutes, trying to ease a little bit of the pain by sharing it. When they finally let go of each other to sit down, Donna feels the cold she felt before he hugged her, rushing back and she finds herself wishing that he would hold her the whole night. Harvey walks straight into the kitchen to make some tea. Strawberry flavour, of course.

"Here." he says, when he hands her one of the two cups. She takes a second to inhale the scent of strawberry, before she takes a sip. They tried numerous teas with strawberry flavour, until they finally found one that didn't taste so articifial. It is something both of them drink a lot, especially in december, when missing her just becomes too much.

"I can't believe she is already turning fourteen today." Donna whispers and he nods quietly. He searches for his wallet, just to take out an old and crooked picture. It shows a red-headed baby girl peacefully asleep in somebody's arms. Donna's arms. He remembers taking this picture like it was yesterday. It is the only picture they have of their - by now not so little anymore - baby girl.

"She would probably look a lot like you by now." Harvey says and he can feel his eyes tearing up a bit, when he hands the picture to Donna.

"I didn't know you had this...all this time.." Donna admits, feeling a little surprised. He gives her a sad smile. Normally he would have teased her that she is Donna and that she is supposed to know everything, but his heart just feels to heavy to crack a joke.

"She has your eyes." Donna whispers, softly caressing the picture. She looks up at him, his eyes are so similar to the ones of the little girl on the picture. He lays his arm around her and they lean back into the cushions.

14 years ago, their little daughter was born. Ava Paulsen. A beautiful and healthy red-headed girl. Aside from the fact that they were still very young and didn't have the time to take care of a baby, neither of them felt ready to become a parent. Their complicated situation (they weren't a couple, Ava was created at a one-night-stand - _the other time_ as they liked to call it) only pushed them further towards the decision to give her up for adoption. Both of them wonder sometimes, if it really was the right decision, but they never talk about it, too afraid to make the other one anxious or uncomfortable.

"Do you think she is doing okay?" Donna asks into his neck, her hot breath causing him to get goosebumps.

"I am sure of it. She is a wonderful girl...just like her mom." he replies and a soft smile plays around his lips. He can hear her sniffle and presses a short kiss on her forehead, before he gets into a more comfortable postion, without ever letting go of her. It's the only time of the year they can be this close without bringing up other stuff. It does bring up other stuff, of course, but just like any other day of the year they never talk about it.

Shortly after, they both fall asleep, still tightly intertwined like they need something to hold onto. It's become a cherished tradition of them to spend the evening of the 14th of december together and it is the only time of the year they speak about her - to anybody. They grew a lot closer because of it, especially in the last few years. Aside from them, nobody knows about Ava's existence. Telling their parents would have only complicated their situation - or that's at least what they always tried to tell themselves. Since nobody knows about her, nobody asks after her and they both are glad about that. It is already hard enough, they don't need people to constantly remind them of what they gave up. Donna snuggles up even more to Harvey, feeling like it is the safest place to be right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys, thanks for all the positive feedback on my last chapter, that's truly amazing. I am not 100% content with this chapter..is it just me? I know this chapter is still rather short..but we gotta start somewhere, right? Thank you in advance for reading this story and taking the time to review, it really means a lot to me.  
**

_January 2nd, 2019_

The rather stressful holidays - that originally weren't supposed to be stressful - are finally over and Donna is really happy to be able to return to work today. She spend Christmas and New Years Eve at her mothers' and even though she always enjoys spending time with her mother and her sisters, december just isn't her month..for one particular reason. When she enters her office, she spots Harvey, obviously waiting for her with two cups of coffee in his hand.

"As much as I enjoy it when you bring me a cup of coffee in the morning..I doubt that you don't have work to do." Donna says with a chuckle and places her purse on her desk.

"I just wanted to properly welcome you back." Harvey replies, when he gets up from the couch to hand her one of the two cups filled with freshly brewed coffee, just the way she likes it. She smiles softly, when she takes a sip from her coffee. He always manages to get the combination of vanilla, skimmed-milk and whipped cream perfectly right. He is better than her at making _their _coffee by now.

"Welcome me back? I was gone for a week." she argues, when something dawns on her, "So, I guess you need something?"

"No, I don't. Like I said, I just wanted to welcome you back." he answers honestly and she seems truly taken aback, "So, how is your mom doing?"

"Uhm..good. She is actually getting married again..in a few months." Donna tells him, still feeling a little surprised. It isn't that unusual for him to come into her office to share a drink or just to catch up a bit, but when he brings her coffee, it normally means that he needs something.

"Sounds good." he says, a small smile playing around his lips, when he thinks back to the two times he actually met Donna's mom. She is one crazy and very unique person and after meeting her he sure knew where Donna got some of her (best) qualities from.

"She actually asked me to ask you if you wanted to come.. but I don't think they will be sending out invitations until next month." Donna mumbles and looks up at him with a smile, after she sat down. She thought about asking him to come with her anyway, as _friends _of course. Donna loves spending time with him outside of the office and going to her mother's wedding seems a little more casual than randomly asking him to hang out or even go out.

"Sure." he answers and just when his mouth is about to open again, someone knocks on Donna's office door.

"Come in." she says, loud enough for the person on the other side of the glass wall to hear. Robert and two girls with beautiful red hair just like Donna's, who are probably around fourteen or maybe even fifteen, enter her office.

"Donna, Harvey." Robert greets them and introduces the two teenagers standing next to him as Avery Smith and Jennifer Brown, their newest interns'.

"Morning Robert." Harvey says and nods acknowledging towards the girls'. One of the girls' notices it and smiles at him, which creates a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he can't quite put his finger on what it could mean.

"Donna, I need you to give these two a tour and Harvey, you and Mike are going to take them to court this afternoon." Robert mutters. He doesn't seem to be in the best mood, even though he was the one who insisted on bringing in interns', since he had been doing it for years at his old firm and it seemed to work out well for the firm.

"Sure." Donna agrees and with a last nod, Robert leaves her office again, "So, I am Donna Paulsen, the firm's COO. And this is Harvey Specter, one of the firm's senior partners'."

"I am the best senior partner of this firm." Harvey corrects her and she rolls her eyes, whilst standing up to properly greet the interns'.

"Stop being so cocky..especially in front of the kids." she warns him, but her small smile gives her away. Avery and Jennifer exchange an amused look. They have only known Donna and Harvey for two minutes, but they can already sense the chemistry between the two of them.

"So..why don't I show you around a little bit?" Donna proposes then and the girls nod agreeingly. They follow Donna out of her office, leaving Harvey behind.

"We will catch up later, okay?" she says softly, when she is already halfway out of the door and gives Harvey a small smile. He nods and returns the smile. She loves to see him smile, even more so when she is the reason.

Than she turns around and he watches as their silhouettes become smaller, as they walk down the hall. Both of the interns' have red hair and if he didn't know better, they could easily be seen as Donna's kids. The girls' are probably the same age his daughter would be right now and for a moment he lets his thoughts wander. Even though he tries to push it into the back of his head, he wishes he knew what happened to his girl.

.

"Right next to my office is the managing partner's office. The managing partner of this firm is Robert Zane, as you might already know." Donna starts with the description of the firm, "You can find all the other partners' down the hall to the right."

Donna gives them some time to take it all in before continuing: "We also have a big kitchen on this floor. It's just for the partners', so normally you aren't allowed to be in there, but as long as I or any other partner are there with you, it's not a problem. We also have one for the associates' on the 46th floor, right next to the bullpen."

"This really is a big firm." Jennifer says with a hint of amazement in her eyes.

"You will get used to it very soon." Donna assures her with a small smile.

"So, what do we have to do in the next few weeks?" Avery asks, while they are walking through the big library of ZSL. A dozen younger attorneys and a few middle aged ones are sitting at the wildly distributed tables', seemingly working very hard.

"Well, you will get the chance to work with different lawyers on different cases. You will probably get to go to court a few times, but it's mostly paperwork and meetings with clients'." Donna explains and sits down at one of the (not yet taken) table's.

"Is it correct that we are going to court with Harvey Specter this afternoon?" Jennifer asks and they both look up at her. Donna is taken aback, when she sees something oddly familiar in those eyes, but isn't able to put her finger on it.

"The best senior partner of this firm." Avery mockes under her breath, but Donna understood every single word.

"You are right, Avery." Donna says, a small smile is spreading across her face, "Harvey Specter really is one of the best lawyers in this city."

Jennifer and Avery exchange another look. If these two people aren't in love, they don't know who is. And in that moment, they realize that this internship is going to be interesting. What neither of them could know at this point, is how everything could turn into a complete mess within seconds, if they aren't cautious.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: After three weeks of not updating this story..here it is: chapter three. Like I said I wasn't home, since I am on summer break at the moment. I am spending a few days at my grandma's now (where I have wifi, but actually not that much time to write), but I am going on vacation for two more weeks on friday, so I won't be uploading then either. Anyway..I hope you are still interested in this story haha. Thanks for all the support.  
**

_January 4th, 2019_

When Harvey comes into his office this morning, Donna is already waiting for him. With two cups of coffee in her hand. She is sitting on his couch, looking out of the window and seemingly lost in thought. He takes her in for a few seconds, before he enters his office. She is wearing a dark-green dress, one of his favorite colors on her and he can't help but acknowledge how beautiful she truly is.

"Morning." he says with a soft smile on his lips.

"Morning." she replies and he eyes her with a questioning look, "I am just here to welcome you back." she teases him, using the same words he had used just two days ago.

"Okay..what's up, Donna?" he asks, a small smile playing around his lips. He loves it when she teases him like that, it - _she_ \- somehow never fails to make him smile.

"I am just checking in to see how Jennifer and Avery are holding up so far. You know, the interns'." she explains and watches his reaction very closely. She knows that he normally isn't that thrilled to work with anybody else but his 'team'.

"They are doing good." he replies a little distracted.

"What? You are not even complaining? Are you okay?" she asks teasingly, but she is taken aback by his answer. Something is on his mind and if she has to bet, she would say that it is the same thing that's been on her mind for the past two days, too.

"I am okay." he answers, more or less honestly, when Jennifer and Avery stroll into his office, giggling so much that they don't even notice that Harvey seems to be in the middle of a conversation.

"Good morning Mr Specter...and Ms Paulsen. We can wait outside, in case we are interrupting something." Jennifer says, when they finally notice Donna. Neither of them looks as happy as they did yesterday and even though she doesn't know this people and therefore none of this is her business, she really hopes that they can figure things out.

"No, you are not interrupting. Come in." Harvey assures them and they enter his office. Donna's gaze lingers on Harvey for a few moments, trying to figure him out, but reading him like she used to has been getting harder lately.

"Okay, I have got to head back to work. If you have any questions you can always come to me." Donna says with a small nod towards the girls'.

.

A little bit later Avery, Jennifer and Mike are working on one of their newest cases, without Harvey, since he has to take care of something else. They have been trying to find something to help the firm's client for the past hour, when Avery suddenly discovers a piece of paper that - at least in her knowledge - should be able to do just that.

"Uhm Mike..what about this?" Avery asks, after having looked through an enourmous amount of files. She hands Mike the paper and he glances over it.

„This is actually really good." Mike says and seems to be quite impressed.

„Thanks.." Avery replies and her face turns a little red. Jennifer gives her an encouraging smile.

„Are your parents lawyers or something? You must know quite a lot about the law to find a loophole like this." Mike asks her.

„Yeah actually, but they live in New Jersey..so you probably don't know them." Avery explains and Mike nods.

„Well, since you cracked the case you are allowed to accompany us. You too, Jennifer. But you have to remember that you are not actually lawyers and therefore you are only allowed to observe." Mike replies and his lips curl up when he realizes the irony of his statement. He hadn't been a legitimate lawyer until a year ago. To say that he is happy to finally have a clean slate would be the understatement of the year.

The girls' nod excitingly. Despite their different lives, they immediately became friends when they met in a camp 'bout a year ago. Jennifer is an only child living in Manhattan. Her father is a doctor, her mother a teacher. Avery on the other hand lives in New Jersey with two siblings with lawyers' as parents. However, they discovered their love for the law together, whilst watching a tv show at a sleepover. Ever since then they had started to buy books, to read articles, to watch tv shows and even started to go to court to watch a trial every now and then. When they saw - rather by coincidence - that one of the top lawfirms' in Manhattan was "looking for" interns', they immediately applied and started their internship just a few weeks later.

"Okay uhm..Harvey is not answering his phone." Mike says and his face falters, "Well, I guess it's just us then."

The girls' follow him out of his office to the elevators and Mike gets lost in his thoughts for a moment. Something is up with Harvey. He has been acting weird for weeks, but it got even worse in the last few days and Mike just can't put his finger on what it is. When they exit the elevator Mike shakes his head, trying to push these thoughts into the back of his mind, at least for the next few hours. He needs to concentrate on his case. However, he makes a mental note to check on Harvey as soon as possible, even though he doubts that Harvey will tell him what is going on.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: My chapters are finally getting longer haha. Anyway I know the story is kinda Donna-centered so far..but we will get some insights on Harvey's feelings soon. Like I said I am on vacation for two more weeks, so I am probably going to upload the next chapter around august 25th. I am really thankful for everybody who takes the time to read and review!  
**

_January 7th, 2019_

Donna is just on her way out - half of her mind already at home in her bathtub - when she notices a tail of red hair disappear into the library. After having worked at the firm for more than a decade, she knows pretty much everyone. Scratch that. She is Donna and she knows everyone and that person is unknown and at the same time, oddly familiar to her.

"I am sorry, but if you are looking for an attorney, I would suggest you come back in the morning." Donna says, when she follows the woman into the firm's library.

"Oh.." the girl says, a little startled, when she turns around to face Donna. She obviously didn't expect to run into somebody, at least not here in the library.

"Jennifer? What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be at home?" Donna asks, as she recognizes the face of the girl.

"I am sorry..I uhm-" she mumbles, trying to explain what she is still doing here after 10pm, when almost everyone already left.

"Are you okay?" Donna asks, when she notices Jennifer's teary eyes.

"Uhm..I guess not." Jennifer answers honestly and let's herself fall onto one of the rather comfortable chairs.

"You wanna talk about it?" Donna asks carefully. She doesn't really wants to admit it to herself, but in that moment her mother instincts' got the best of her. After all she barely knows the girl, she is just _another_ intern.

"You wanna hear about my drama?" Jennifer asks in return and Donna's lips curl up slightly. She likes this girl.

"Like I told you, if you need anything or have any questions..you can always come to me." Donna replies, trying to keep it professional whilst encouraging the girl to open up to her with a soft smile.

"Okay uhm..it's my boyfriend. He just doesn't get me. I told him something personal about my family a few weeks ago and he barely listened to me. And then a few days ago..with this client.." Jennifer starts talking and to her surprise, talking to the firms' COO, whom she barely knows, doesn't feel weird at all. She watches the woman sit down on a chair opposite to her.

"Avery cracked the case, I know." Donna finishes her sentence.

"How do you..?" Jennifer asks a little surprised.

"I am Donna, I know." the woman replies and Jennifer understands. Mike must have told her about that, probably because he was really impressed by Avery, even more so since it worked out.

"I mean I love Avery, she is great and she deserves this..but it just leaves me.." Jennifer continues, but stops mid-sentence, because she doesn't know how to express the way she feels in words.

"With that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach?" Donna finishes her sentence yet again and the girl nods vehemently.

"Okay, listen very carefully, because I am only gonna tell you this once. I used to work as a secretary..and even though I was damn good at that and liked doing it, I saw everyone else - and by that I mean people that I care deeply about - around me getting promoted. It felt like I was stuck..whilst everyone else was moving forward." Donna says and Jennifer nods slowly. Of course it isn't excatly the same, but Jennifer can see the similarity.

"And now, look at me. I am the firm's COO, which means that I am one of the most powerful women of Specter Litt. What I am trying to say is that some things just take time..and hard work. It's all going to work out somehow, you know?" Donna adds and Jennifer is quiet for a while, trying to take in all the new information.

"Thank you." the girl says after a while.

"For what?" Donna asks politely, even though she knows the answer.

"For not telling me that I am only fourteen and shouldn't worry about that yet..because I do." Jennifer replies, she has always been a little ahead of her age, "And for listening to me."

Donna nods and a soft smile appears on Jennifer's face and for a second there she thinks that she has seen that smile before. Donna shakes her head slightly in an attempt to push that thought into the back of her head. It's probably just her mind playing tricks on her, again.

"But that's not the biggest part of why you are sad." Donna states.

"No.." Jennifer agrees slowly. Normally the thing with Avery cracking the case wouldn't have bothered her too much, but when you are already feeling a little down and insecure, situations like that just hit you a hundred times harder.

"So..about that boyfriend of yours..if he doesn't find the time or the will to listen to you when it comes to important personal problems, leave him behind. You seem like a good person and I am sure there are a lot of guys out there who would be very willing to treat you better." Donna mumbles.

"You are right, but-" Jennifer starts talking and leaves the sentence unfinished.

"But it's so much more complicated than that. Yeah, I know." Donna adds and for a few seconds Jennifer could spot a hint of sadness in the COO's eyes. They both lose themselves in their own thoughts for a few moments, until the famous _beep_ coming from Jennifer's phone brings them back to reality.

"My dad's here to pick me up." Jennifer states plainly and gets up, "Thank you, Ms Paulsen."

"It's Donna." the woman replies with a warm smile.

"Good night, Donna." the girl says with a happy smile on her face. When she walked into the library she had merely searched for a room to be alone, but instead she talked to a really inspiring woman, who even got her to smile again.

"Night." Donna whispers and stares into the blank, where the other redhead sat just a few seconds ago. Her smile disappears as fast as it came and she can feel her eyes tear up. Talking things through like that is just one of the many things she would have loved to do with her daughter. A part of her knows that she made the right decision back then, but that didn't and still doesn't make it much easier.

She slowly gets up, not allowing herself to start crying here. She closes her eyes for a few seconds and "swallows" the tears before making her way to the elevators.

"Donna? Donna, hey!" a very familiar voice pulls her out of her thoughts.

"Oh..Rachel, hi." Donna mumbles. She had hoped to not run into any familiar faces this evening. It's not like she doesn't love her friends, quite the opposite actually, but she just isn't in the mood to talk to anybody this evening.

"Are you okay?" her concerned friend asks. Mike told her about his worries concerning Harvey and she has to admit that she is a little worried about her, _them_, too.

"Yeah." Donna says, probably trying to convince herself just as much as Rachel.

"You wanna talk about it?" Rachel asks, knowing that Donna isn't 100% honest with her.

"I don't wanna talk about it, because there is nothing to talk about." Donna answers, which isn't even a complete lie. She never talked about Ava with anyone aside from Harvey, it always seemed easier to keep it that way. And what exactly is there to talk about, anyway? It's not like she can go back and undo it.

"You sure? You know..talking helps." Rachel argues.

"I appreciate that, but I just wanna go home, take a bath and go to sleep." Donna says, suddenly remembering that she had plans to take a hot bath.

"Okay, but you know you can always talk to me, right?" Rachel asks and Donna smiles weakly.

"I do, Rach. See you tomorrow." Donna replies and disappears into one of the six elevators that just opened. She loves Rachel and her advice, but she just feels like a hot bath can do her more good this evening.

.

_January 8th, 2019_

Even though Donna didn't sleep much last night, mostly because she took a long and hot bath, but also because her thoughts kept her awake and made her toss and turn more times than she liked, she is in a surprisingly good mood when she arrives at the firm the next morning. She decides to stop by Harvey's office, since she has to hand over some files anyway and

"Ross and Rachel are just made for each other, they always were endgame." she hears Jennifer say, when she is passing by the glass walls of his office.

"No. Joey and Rachel should have been endgame!" Avery replies and Donna can't help but chuckle. She would have loved to hear the beginning of that conversation. The girls' turn their heads slightly and look at Harvey with big eyes, probably expecting him to settle their conflict once and for all.

"Oh geez.." she hears Harvey sign, "You are not going to leave me alone with this, huh?"

They shake their heads no and Donna chooses to watch the scenario happening right in front of her eyes, even though she already knows the answer.

"Team Roschel." Harvey mumbles under his breath and Jennifer exclaims a loud yes, whilst Avery makes a face. Donna decides that that's the right moment to interrupt their conversation.

"Well, I hate to be the one to burst your little _friends_ bubble, but here are the files you wanted." Donna says, when she finally enters his office. His hand brushes over hers when he takes the files from her and their eyes lock for a few seconds. It's their way of communicating silently and they both notice immediately that there is something on both of their minds. Avery and Jennifer decide to give them some time to _talk _and start chatting - as quiet as possible - about something else, which soon escalates in heavy giggling and eventually pulls Donna and Harvey out of their little staring contest or silent conversation - however you wanna call it.

"Thank you." he mumbles and clears his throat.

"No problem.." Donna says quietly, "Well, I gotta head back to work."

"Yeah.." he whispers and for a moment he thinks he saw a hint of sadness in Donna's eyes and all he wants to do is stand up and hug her. Wants to tell her that he understands, because he has been feeling the same. But this is not the right moment. It never is. With a last glance over his office - more specifically over him and the interns' - she disappears. And he lets her go yet again.

When Donna woke up this morning, she felt surprisingly well. But now her chest just feels heavy again. Seeing those girls', in this case discussing one of his and her all time favorite show with _him_, just presses some buttons. When she feels her eyes well up again, she decides that taking a quick stop at the bathroom might not be the worst idea.

Donna doesn't even check, whether she is alone or not. She disappears into one of the cabins, shutting the door behind herself, before sitting down on the toilet lid. She feels the tears rolling down her cheeks and has to cover her mouth to not make any sound. This whole chapter of her life has been eating away at her lately and she doesn't know how to fix it, how to fix _herself. _She grabs a tissue to wipe her nose, her sight is still a little blurry from the tears. And that's when she decides that talking to a friend about everything might not be the worst idea.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Here is the next chapter, a little bit earlier than expected. I have always loved the friendship between Donna and Rachel and I really missed them in season 8 and 9! Anyway, I hope you like it. Thanks again for reading and taking the time to review!  
**

_January 8th, 2019_

The clock is striking 9 pm, which is a surprisingly early time for Rachel to be home, at least in the last few weeks. She just decided on watching tv with a nice glass of wine, when she hears someone knock on the door. It's probably just Mike who forgot his key again, but her gut tells her it's somebody else..and she is proven right.

„Donna? What are you doing here?" Rachel asks, obviously surprised.

„I..brought wine." Donna mumbles and holds up the bottle of wine. She attempts to smile, but her eyes betray her.

Rachel eyes her with her „tell-me-the-truth"-look and gives her an encouraging smile. She hates to see her best friend hurt, but she is glad that Donna decided to open up to her.

„I came..to talk." Donna adds and without further ado, Rachel opens the door wide enough for Donna to enter.

Donna strolls into the kitchen, grabs two glasses out of the dishwasher and fills them with the wine she brought. She hands Rachel one of the two glasses and they sit down on the couch.

„Mike's not here yet." Rachel states, probably wanting to make it more comfortable for Donna to open up.

„So how have you been doing lately?" Donna asks, searching for an easy way to start the conversation. They barely talked in the past few weeks, since they are both busy with the firm.

„I am good, Donna..but this is not what you came here to talk about." Rachel replies and her hand searches for Donna's. She squeezes it slightly in another attempt to encourage Donna. She knows that Donna needs her time to open up. Even though they barely talked, Rachel still noticed that her friend wasn't doing well.

„I know..I just don't know how to start." Donna admits and Rachel nods understandingly.

„Why don't you start at the beginning?" Rachel asks softly with the hint of a smile. Donna nods and takes a big sip of wine, trying to drink up some courage.

„Okay..uhm remember when I told you that Harvey and I..slept together, before we moved to the firm?" Donna asks and Rachel nods. Of course she does, how could she forget _that_?

„Well..what I didn't tell you is..that I was maybe..kinda..pregnant..after that." she mumbles quietly. It's only the second time she ever said that out loud and it sounds weird..somewhat foreign.

„What?" Rachel gasps, all color left her face. Rachel had expected anything - from an illness to a secret romance with Harvey that wasn't working out quite the way they had hoped - but never in a million years would she have guessed this.

„You..and Harvey..were pregnant? Like he was..the father?" Rachel stumbles, obviously not quite convinced. Donna nods and can't help but chuckle at Rachel's reaction.

„Oh god..I am sorry..this is just not what I expected at all." Rachel adds, underlining the last word to show Donna just how surprised she is, and gives her an apologizing look.

„It's fine, Rachel." Donna assures her with a small smile.

„Okay..so uh what happened then?" Rachel asks carefully, because even though she doesn't know how this story continues, there is one thing she is sure of: it's everything but easy for Donna.

And so she begins to tell Rachel everything. From their decision to give up Ava for adoption to the way the newest interns' are reminding her of her, _their_, daughter.

.

Harvey is sitting on his couch in his penthouse, a glass of scotch his only company. He stares into the blank and his thoughts begin to wander again. He thinks about Donna and about calling her, but he doesn't do it. Deep down he knows that she has been thinking about the same things he can't seem to get out of his head. He could see it in her face, when she handed him those files in the morning. But what if it's just his mind playing tricks on him? He doesn't wanna hurt her by bringing all this up, especially since there is nothing much they can do about it now anyway.

He thinks back to the day his, their, daughter was born and a sad smile appears on his face.

_FLASHBACK: December 14th, 2004_

_It's a cold december day and Harvey is sitting in his office, desperately trying to get some work done. But no matter how hard he tries, his thoughts always shift to Donna and their baby. Her due day is on December 16th, so it can basically happen any moment.  
_

_He looks up to the cubicle in front of his office. Just a few months ago, Donna sat there. Somehow she managed to look up most times he eyed her from his office, a soft smile on her lips. He could really use that smile right about now. Even though he is only an associate, he got a replacement secretary, when Donna left a few months ago, because she was starting to show. She has to take care of some family issues - that's at least what everyone else at the firm believes. He is pretty sure that Jessica didn't quite buy that story, but since he offered to pay the „inconvenience" out of his own pocket, she allowed it._

_The sound of his phone pulls him out of his thoughts. When he sees Donna's caller ID, something inside of him freaks._

_„Hey. Is everything okay?" he asks softly._

_„Harvey! I think my water just broke..and I.." she mumbles. She sounds confused and lost and all he wants to do is hug her and make all that anxiety go away._

_„Okay, Donna, stay calm. It's gonna be okay." he says, trying to sound steady and calm, even though he feels like doing anything but staying calm._

_He can hear her sob a few times, before her breathing becomes more steady again. She kept it together for months, but now the reality of her situation hits her hard._

_„Listen to me. Ray is gonna pick you up and I am going to meet you at the hospital, okay?" Harvey adds._

_„Okay...thank you, Harvey." she says and he can hear her get up._

_„It's gonna be okay." he says and with that he hangs up the phone. For a few moments he feels like he is glued to his chair. He just can't wrap his head around the fact that this is really happening right the hell now. In retrospect, he had no idea what was coming. And as much as that scares him, he knows he's gotta be there for Donna. He jumps up and almost bumps into Louis on his way to the elevator's._

_„Hey Harvey..I am actually on my way to your office, we need to talk." Louis says._

_„Sorry Louis, but that has to wait. There is an emergency." Harvey replies and disappears into one of the elevator's._

_„You would really do anything to escape a talk with me, huh? But you know what, Specter? You can't run from me forever!" he can hear Louis call after him and for a moment he forgets about his situation and chuckles. If only Louis knew what's really going on. He would probably need a whole week to recover from that._

_._

_When Harvey gets out of the cab right in front of the hospital, a mixture of rain and snow greets him paired with a lousy wind. He hecticly scans the area, but doesn't spot Donna, which isn't that unlikely since the hospital is closer to the firm than to her apartment._

_A few minutes later, Ray pulls up. They help Donna get out of the car and into a wheel chair. Ray wishes them good luck and with a last friendly nod, he disappears into his car again. Ray is the only person who knows about Donna's pregnancy aside from Harvey and he is pretty sure that it's Harvey's kid, too, but he never asked and they both are really thankful for that._

_._

_„One last push!" Ms Hastings, a nurse says._

_Donna looks up at Harvey and she seems to be so fragile. He gives her a smile and squeezes her hand in encouragement._

_„You can do it." he whispers and just a few seconds later he can feel her squeeze his hand really hard, in order to find something to hold onto._

_A scream fills the room and Donna and Harvey both watch the nurse cut the umbilical cord and wrap the little girl into a towel with big eyes.  
_

_„It's a beautiful girl." the nurse says, when she hands Donna the newborn. The nurses leave the room just a few minutes later, giving Donna and Harvey some time alone with the girl._

_„She really is beautiful." Donna states in awe._

_„Yeah..she looks like a mini-you." he replies and their eyes lock, their faces are dangerously close. And before they can think their actions through, his lips already found hers. It's a soft and meaningful kiss. For a moment their luck seems perfect. It's just when the baby starts chuckling that they break the kiss._

_„Did she just..chuckle?" Donna asks and a big smile appears on her face, when she sees the little baby smiling at her parents._

_„Can I hold her?" Harvey asks after a while of them staring at the little girl peacefully drifting in and out of sleep. She carefully hands the little one over to him._

_He's heard it many times. That story about the love you feel when you hold your kid in your arms for the very first time. He's always thought of that as somewhat of a cliche or make believe. But when he watches his daughter open her eyes - which are so similar to his own- in his arms and look up at him, he can practically feel his heart grow ten times bigger. He never wants to let her go again._

_„I think we should name her Ava after all." he says slowly, gently caressing the redheaded baby._

_„You do? I thought you didn't like that name." she replies surprised, watching him slightly rock the baby in his arms._

_„I never said that. Besides, I looked it up..the name goes back to ‚aval' what means strength in some german dialect or something like that." he says and looks up with a smile, „That kind of fits, don't you think?"_

_She looks at him, the surprise in her eyes not able to be overlooked._

_„What?" he asks. He loves to surprise her, make her question the things she already knows about him, make her like him even more.  
_

_„I..yeah..it fits." she stumbles. She is wearing a big smile now, too._

_PRESENT TIME: January 8th, 2019_

They never talked about the moment they had shared in that hospital bed, but he can still remember that her lips tasted like a mixture of strawberry and salt - the salt probably coming from the tears. He blamed it on the intensity of the moment, she on her hormones. It's like they put it in a box with everything else that happened that day and the months before. It's deeply covered under hundreds of other memories, but not forgotten.

Harvey gulps down the rest of his drink and stands up to go to his room to change into something more comfortable. He decides that going for a run might clear his head a little, the cold january-air just helping that purpose.

.

„Do you regret it?" Rachel asks, still trying to process the things Donna has just told her over a bottle of wine.

„Regret what?" Donna asks. She's too tired to pull of her „I am Donna and I know"- thing tonight.

„Do you regret..giving her up for adoption?" Rachel asks carefully.

„I don't know..I mean back than it kind off seemed like the right thing to do." she answers slowly, „But I guess maybe a part of me does, yes."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey guys, sorry for not uploading anything in almost a month. I was busy, because school started again for me about three weeks ago...and to be honest I had a writer's block..I hope that the next chapters will come more regulary and I hope y'all still enjoy this story. I am aware that this is a bit of an emotional ride for Donna and Harvey, but I kind off like the way it's coming together and I hope you do, too. Anyway, I wanted to thank y'all for the massive support. I am always happy about feedback of any kind, so hit me up. _Long story short: Thanks for sticking with me and have fun reading!_  
**

**By the way, I can't believe that they are showing the last episode of suits ever next week already! Time flies I guess. I just hope that they get their happy ending.**

_January 11th, 2019_

The last few days passed by quite uneventful. Harvey actually managed to clear his head or at least "postpone" his feelings until he finds a way to deal with them. He knows it's not the right way to deal with it and he originally promised himself not to repress his feelings anymore, but it seems to be the easiest solution at the moment.

"Donna." Harvey greets her with a smile, when she enters his office.

"Harvey." she replies and for a moment she forgets everything else around them. His smile always manages to make her feel like that.

"What are you doing here?" he asks then and breaks their little bubble, when Donna realizes why she decided to pay his office a visit in the first place. It's late and most people already went home, which is good because she doesn't know how he is going to react to what she is about to tell him and the last thing they need is to create a scene.

"I need to talk to you." she answers quietly and her right hand starts playing with her left hands' little finger, a habit that helps her calm down whenever she feels anxious or nervous.

"I am fine." he sighs and stands up to pour them two glasses of scotch.

"Okay, that's not what I came here to talk about..but we are definitely going to now." she replies and follows him to his couch. He lets himself fall onto the couch, while she decides to keep her distance by sitting down on the arm chair.

"What is going on Donna?" he asks and takes a sip from his glass filled with scotch.

"I told Rachel." she whispers and looks up at him. He immediately knows what she is talking about.

"What?" he asks, he can feel anger raise up in his chest, "I thought we decided not to tell anyone like what, 14 years ago?"

"I know and I am sorry." Donna says quietly. She isn't exactly sorry for talking to Rachel, since she finally managed to take some of the weight she has been carrying around for months, years even, of her shoulders and it helped her figure out a few things. However, she is sorry for breaking their pact, which - in all fairness - wouldn't have lasted forever anyway.

"You are sorry? What good can that do?" Harvey snaps and stands up, "Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to tell my dad? I felt like a liar every goddamn time the man looked into my eyes. But I didn't. Because we promised each other not to."

"Harvey..I am so sorry..I had no idea." she stutters, obviously surprised by the newfound information, "Please let me explain."

"I don't care, Donna! I don't. Just..leave me alone." he replies, the anger in his voice is still very clear to hear.

She stares at him for a few seconds and he can practically hear her mind thinking, trying to decide whether it's better to stay or leave. He can see the pain his reaction caused her, but he is too angry to process any of it. She turns around, grabs her things from her office and decides to call it a night, because there is no way in hell she can focus on work this evening. Instead she decides to take a hot bath (which she has been doing a lot lately, since it always helps her calm down). Even though she knew that he would react like this, part of her had hoped that he would understand.

Harvey lets himself fall into his desk chair and sighs just a few seconds later, realizing that his scotch glass is still standing on the glass table by the couch. He hates fighting with Donna more than anything. It always leaves him feeling sad and angry about her and more often than not, about himself, too.

He stands up and grabs his glass from the couch table, once again scotch is his only company. He stops infront of his big window and looks over the night vision of the city he has been calling his home for more than a decade now. He loves NYC, but the only thing that makes him feel like he is completely at home is and has always been this firm, more specifically Donna, Jessica, Mike, Rachel, even Louis..the people he let in over the years. He gulps down the rest of his drink and can feel it burn his throat just a few seconds later.

A sad smile appears on his face, when he remembers the day Donna told him that she was pregnant. He can't believe it's almost been 15 years ever since.

_FLASHBACK: May 22nd, 2004 _

_"Donna? What's up?" he asks when he picks up his phone._

_"Can you please come over..like right now? I really need to talk to you." Donna replies, her voice seems shaky, she sounds like she just cried.  
_

_"Are you okay?" he asks and jumps up from his chair, almost running to the elevators. Even though she has only been his secretary/assistant for a year, she has become a good friend of his and he cares dearly about her. Even if he doesn't really wants to admit that to himself just yet. _

_"Yeah..just come over please." she mumbles, when he steps into the elevators._

_"I'll be there in 20." he says and hangs up the phone. He just hopes that she is okay._

_._

_"Harvey..I am pregnant." Donna whispers and looks up at him. Her eyes are telling him that she is afraid, something he hasn't seen before._

_"What?" he replies, because he doesn't know what else to say. He expected anything, but not this. He has been so afraid of this happening one day, with some random woman..but this is Donna. This is different._

_"I know this is..a lot to take in. I just thought it would be right to let you know..since you know you're the..father." she explains in a steady tone. Father. He is going to be a father.  
_

_"Okay..what do you wanna do?" Harvey asks. He should feel out of place, he should want to run away like he always does when things get hard or people get too close, but instead he feels surprisingly calm. _

_"I don't wanna have an abortion." she states like it has never even crossed her mind._

_"So you wanna keep her then?" he asks further, feeling kinda happy that she doesn't wanna get an abortion even though he would understand that, too._

_"What makes you so sure that it's a her and not a him?" she replies perplexed and looks at him._

_"I can feel it." he answers softly, before his smile turns into a flirtatious grin. _

_"Stop it, Specter! Last time that happened, this happened!" she exclaims and gestures her hand between them before pointing to her belly._

_"Seriously Donna, whatever you decide, I am gonna support you." he says and she can hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes that he means it. _

_._

_PRESENT TIME: January 12th, 2019  
_

When Donna arrives at the office the next morning, she feels tired and sad, because Harvey didn't knock at her door in the middle of the night like he normally does after they fight. As she enters her office, she notices Jennifer and Avery sitting on her couch, obviously waiting for her.

"What are you two doing here?" Donna asks with a polite smile.

"We wanted to ask where we can find Mr. Specter." Avery explains, "We are supposed to work with him today and he isn't in his office."

"Well, did you ask his secretary if she knows anything?" Donna suggests, trying to stay as calm as possible. He needs to be okay, she needs him to be okay.

"We did..she doesn't know anything." Jennifer mumbles, seeing the panic in the COO's eyes. When she first came here she thought that the lawyer and the COO were a couple, but now she isn't that sure anymore. However, it is very clear how much they care for one another and from what she heard from the employees' gossiping, they are in love, but have been too afraid or whatever to take their friendship to the next level. Supposedly they even slept together once.

"Hang on, I am just gonna call him. I am sure he is just a little late." Donna says and tries her best to smile. Being late for work normally means that he is with a woman and the thought of that makes her feel even more queasy than she already does.

"Damn it, Harvey, pick up your goddamn phone." she murmurs under her breath, but just a few seconds later she can hear his voicemail answer instead of him.

"Why don't you girls' go over to Ms. Zane's office? Just tell her I sent you. I will update you soon." Donna says and the girls' nod understandingly before strolling out of her office.

Donna sits down and tries to figure out what to do. She thinks about calling him again, when she notices a new voicemail from Harvey.

_Hey Donna, I am in Boston..I just need some time. I will be back at work on monday. I am sorry for the way I reacted..we will catch up when I am back. See you. _

A part of her is relieved that he is okay and that he didn't spend the night with another woman after their fight. The other part feels some weird kind of happiness, which is new to her. He actually wants to talk it out with her, something that doesn't happen that often. She can feel her chest tighten when she thinks about the one thing they, more specifically he, has been avoiding to talk about for more than a decade now.

_January 13th, 2019_

It's 11pm on a sunday evening and Donna is just getting ready for bed, when she hears someone knock on her door. She immediately knows who it is.

"Harvey." she says and lets him step inside.

"Hey." he replies and for a few seconds they just stare at each other, their bodies so close that she can feel the warmth coming from his body. She is already prepared for him to turn away, to say something to break their bubble, but he doesn't. The intensity of their moment soon becomes enough for her to handle and for the first time in a while, she is the one to bring them back to reality.

"How's your family?" she asks and breaks the eyecontact. He is not here for that kind of talk, she tries to remind herself.

"They are fine." he answers and follows her into the kitchen. He only now realizes the light rose nightgown she is wearing and he can't help but admire how pretty she looks in more casual clothes and without make-up.

"You want some wine?" she asks and he just nods. She fills two glasses with a pricey, but really good white wine and follows him into the living room. They both take a seat on the couch, but like always, they tend to keep their distance, especially since it's already dark outside and it's getting close to midnight.

"I visited my dad." he says after a while of silence. It was the main reason why he went to Boston, he needed to feel close to his father. She nods understandingly.

"I am so sorry, Harvey. I never wanted for you to feel like you needed to keep her a secret from your dad." Donna replies and he nods. He knows that she really is sorry. Donna always liked Gordon, just the way Gordon liked her from the very first time they met.

"I know, Donna. But it's not your fault. It was my decision, because deep down I knew that he would talk some sense into me..and I just didn't want to hear that back than." Harvey admits slowly.

"What do you mean 'talk some sense into you'?" she asks carefully.

"I mean..that deep down I would have loved to have Ava with you..and my dad would have seen that in my eyes the minute I would have told him." Harvey mumbles and she looks at him, eyes widen in surprise.

"You would have wanted to keep her?" she whispers, not daring to talk any louder.

"I guess..but I wasn't ready. We both know that." he says, his features consisting of guilt and sadness.

"We both weren't." Donna adds. It is the truth. Who ever is? But she was in her mid-twenties, still planning on working as an actress one day and a kid just didn't fit in her, _their, _plans.

"Do you regret it?" Donna asks the same question Rachel asked her just a few days ago.

"Maybe." he admits after a while, "What about you?"

"Maybe." she replies and gives him a sad smile, "But where does that leave us?"

"There is not much we can do, I guess." Harvey answers and shrugs his shoulders.

"I guess we could try to get in contact with her adotive parents.." Donna proposes slowly, watching his reaction very closely.

"We can try. But since it was an anounymous adoption, they are allowed to decline our wish." Harvey argues.

"Well, we can tell them that we just wanna know how she is doing..that is want we want right?" Donna responds, trying to convince herself that that is in fact the only thing she wants. He nods slowly.

"So we are doing this then? We are trying to find her?" Donna asks excited, her smile is honest and happy.

"I guess we are." he replies and she hugs him out of joy. He is surprised by the sudden closeness and afraid that she might hear or feel his racing heart, caused by their decision and _her. _He knows that the chance that they will actually "find" her is very low, but her voice is so full of excitement that he doesn't bare to break her heart..at least not now.

They keep on talking for an hour, freeing their souls concerning Ava by finally admitting the things they have been trying to hide from one another because they didn't wanna hurt each other. That is what they always do really. Protecting each other, worrying about each other and even if they are very careful in using that term; loving each other.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Guess I am still not quite over my writer's block..but I am doing my best. Does anyone of you know how I can correct (mostly grammatical) mistakes from chapters I already published? I just don't wanna erase something by accident. Thanks in advance.  
**

_FLASHBACK: January 3rd, 2005  
_

_Today she is going back to work. After a 6 months-long break, she is coming back to work at his desk, pretending that everything that happened in the past few months isn't still robbing her of sleep at night. Apparently she doesn't look as bad as she thinks she does, because she gets a lot of complimemts on her way up to the 50th floor. People greet her with a smile or a handshake, ask how she has been and somehow she manages to answer: "Good."_

_When she arrives at his office, he isn't there and a part of her is glad about that. Aside from the fact that they just had a beautiful baby girl together, who they gave up for adoption, they shared a moment; a kiss that probably just happened in the heat and the intensity of the moment. It didn't mean anything, right? _

_"Hey Donna." he says, when he arrives at her cubicle, two cups of coffee in the hand, "Coffee?" _

_"Yeah sure, thanks." she answers, a hint of surprise in her eyes. He never brought her coffee before. _

_"Are you okay?" he whispers and looks her deep into the eyes._

_"Sure." she replies, pretending to be in the middle of reading a file. How could she be okay after everything that happened in the past few weeks? After she gave birth to Ava, she went on vacation for two weeks and she cried most of the time there. She tells herself that it is normal to feel this way, but she isn't in the mood to talk about any of that here and now..or ever. And without even fully realizing it, she shuts him out._

_PRESENT TIME: January 14th, 2019_

Donna takes a sip from her coffee and looks over New York City from her window in the 50th floor. For the first time in days she feels totally at ease, happy even. They finally talked and decided to try and look for Ava, even though they both know the chance that they can actually get in touch with her is very low. She used to shut him out concerning Ava, especially after the girl was born and yesterday she realized that she has been doing it again. He has been doing it, too. But they managed to find their way back and they have become a strong team ever since. She just hopes that this search won't destroy that.

.

"Anyway, I told my mom that.." Avery says, but Jennifer doesn't even hear the rest of that sentence. She is completely lost in her thoughts. Thoughts that have been consuming her lately.

"Jen, are you even listening to me? Jen!" Avery says and begins clapping her hands in front of her best friend's face.

"Oh god..I am so sorry." Jennifer replies, an apologizing look on her face.

"What's been going on with you? Are you okay?" Avery asks. She knows that the past few months haven't been the easiest for Jennifer, mainly because of all the drama with her boyfriend, but she has been more distant lately and Avery is starting to worry about her friend.

"Yeah..I mean..I don't know." Jennifer admits quietly. It's a cold january morning and they have to walk the 15 minutes walking distance from Jennifer's home to the firm. They could take the bus, but at this time of the day it would at least take an half an hour and they have come to like the walking in the morning. Avery has been sleeping over at Jennifer's a lot lately, since it's just easier for her to get to the firm from there than from New Jersey.

"You wanna tell me?" Avery offers with a soft smile and Jennifer nods. She has been keeping those feelings inside for way too long and maybe it's the way the snow reflects the sunlight or the smell of freshly brewed coffee awakening her senses, but it somehow feels like a good time to talk.

"A few weeks ago, my mom wasn't home and I was looking through some old photo albums to find a good picture of her and I for her birthday, when I found a picture of me. The date stamp told me it was made on the day I was born..so my birth parents must have made it, because my parents adopted me one day after I was born." Jennifer starts. It feels so good to finally tell her best friend, because she knows Avery listens and Jennifer knows that she will understand.

Avery grabs her hand and squeezes it in support and encouragement.

"Anyway..I had never seen that picture before..but it didn't show my birth parents and just when I was about to put it back, I noticed some kind of file laying on the bed my birth mom was probably sleeping in. The file said 'Pearson Hardman'..so I looked it up in the internet and I found out that it is a lawfirm..now called 'Zane Specter Litt'." Jennifer continues slowly.

"Oh my god." Avery states and stops, Jennifer turns around to look at her friend, "So you didn't saw the ad by coicidence?"

Jennifer shakes her head, no.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Avery asks quietly and Jennifer senses a hint of sadness in her friend's voice.

"Because the chance that either one of them still works there is extremely low..and even if they do, where do I start? I got nothing. I don't know anything about them. It could literally be anyone at the firm, who is between 35 and 60." Jennifer argues and Avery nods slowly.

"Yeah okay, I get that..but we could have figured something out. We still can." she replies and grabs her friend's hand again, "We are best friends, remember? I am here for you. You don't have to go through that kind of stuff alone. It's okay if you want to, but you don't have to."

"I love you, Ave. You are the best!" Jennifer exclaims and hugs her. Avery's hugs must have some kind of superpower, because afterwards she always feels better.

"So..what do you wanna do?" Avery asks as they continue walking.

"I think I wanna start looking for them..I mean I have to at least give it a shot..as long as we are still working there." Jennifer answers, when they enter the firm's front door. They have to show their ID-cards to the portier, before entering an elevator.

"Why don't you ask Mike Ross for help..I mean we have been working a lot with him and he seems really nice. I am sure he would understand." Avery proposes and Jennifer nods.

"Yeah..I already thought about that, too." Jennifer mumbles.

.

_Later the same day_

"Mr. Ross?" Jennifer says, when she knocks on his office door and opens it a bit.

"Jennifer..what are you still doing here?"

"I actually came here to talk to you." she answers and enters his office to take a seat on the opposite end of his desk.

"What can I do for you?" he asks with a smile and puts his pen down to give her his full attention.

"Well..this is gonna sound a little weird.." Jennifer says and a soft chuckle escapes her mouth.

"I am all ears." he assures her. Jennifer tells him about her adoption and the way she linked the photo back to this firm. It feels a little weird talking about this quite sensetive topic with someone who is basically a stranger to her, but he repeatedly smiles at her encouragingly.

"Okay..this is.." he starts, trying to find the right word.

"A little crazy?" she tries and he nods slowly.

"Well..I mean I am here for you if you need anything, but I don't understand what all of this has to do with me." Mike replies, even though he can already guess what she is about to ask him.

"I just thought that maybe you could..." she mumbles, "Uhh no..this is stupid. Forget I ever said anything." She suddenly feels so incredibly stupid for asking him such a thing and stands up, flashing him an apologizing smile.

"No, Jennifer, wait." he says, "As much as I would love to help you find them, considering they even still work here..don't you think you should talk about this with your parents? I am sure they would understand."

"They wouldn't. I mean I love them, but they will just assume that I don't love them anymore..and I don't wanna hurt their feelings." Jennifer explains, nervously starting to play with her left index finger, something she has been doing for years whenever she feels nervous or anxious. It's a habit so familiar to him that he doesn't even fully processes it.

"Okay..listen. I am sorry..as much as I wanna help you..I don't think it's a good idea. I don't wanna get between you and your parents or anything like that. If you need someone to talk to, I am here, but anything beyond that.." Mike replies softly. He knows he is doing the right thing, as much as it pains him.

"Yeah..I totally get that..really. Thank you." Jennifer says with a nod and a smile, but he can see the flicker of disappointment in her eyes. She turns around and leaves his office. She feels so stupid for asking him in the first place, even though he was really nice to her. A single tear escapes her eye and rolls down her cheek. It feels like she just lost her best shot at finding her birth parents. Technically she could ask Donna or even Harvey Specter, but they would probably tell her the exact same thing Mike Ross just told her.

.

Harvey is listening to one of his favorite records of his dad's work, when Donna strolls into his office.

"Hey." he says softly and she pours herself a glass of scotch to join him on the couch.

"Hey." she replies with the same softness. She has always loved those moments of toal ease and softness between them and this evening is no exception.

"How has your day been?" he asks and takes a sip from his scotch.

"Good. And yours?" she replies with a smile.

"Yeah, mine was good, too." Harvey says, "Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in this dress?"

"Probably not, because I am wearing it for the first time." she replies and gulps down the rest of her drink, when she feels her heart skipping a beat at his compliment.

"Well, you do." he whispers and turns his head to be able to look at her, what makes her even more nervous than she already is.

"Have we been drinking a little too much?" she asks with a chuckle, trying to lead the conversation into a less dangerous direction. For her sake as well as for his.

"My mind is as clear as it could be." he says and when she turns her head again to be able to look at him when she makes a witty comment, she notices how close they are sitting. She can feel his hot breath on her face, which is enough for her to get totally turned on.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?" he whispers, slowly getting lost in them. Her eyecolor is a mixture of green and a light brown, which has become his favorite eyecolor a long time ago. Ironically he never thought about what that could mean.

"Once." she replies almost instantly. Donna remembers it like it was yesterday, because it was the first and only time he ever told her that. He said it at _The Other Time_ after they made love and she drifted to sleep right next to him.

"Twice..now." he mumbles and she can feel herself move closer to him, just like he does until their lips crash together. It's a kiss filled with passion, lust, love; a kiss that is long overdue. His hands cup her face in order to hold her close, while her hands begin tracing his body up and down. He has always been muscular, but he got even more attractive over the last few years. She moans into the kiss, both of them are burning with so much desire that they probably would have done it right here and now. It's the absence of the music that allows Donna a moment of clarity.

"Harvey..stop.." she murmurs and tries to put her hand between their bodies in order to get some space between them, "What are we doing?"

The last time she kissed him she swore herself that if she were to kiss him again that would be it. Is this really it? Isn't this rather a product of the fights and heated conversations they had in the past week that lead to them actually having a mature talk for once? Isn't this rather a product of the pain they both have been going through for the past few weeks and the flicker of hope that arose yesterday evening?

"Kissing." he replies in a dark and raspy voice, which sounds incredibly sexy in her opinion.

"Harvey.." she whispers, trying to stay strong, when he starts kissing her dekollete, "Why?"

"Because you are sexy as hell right now." he murmurs and she pushes him away for good.

"Are you kidding me right now?" she asks, the anger in her voice clearly audible. Not that she doesn't like it when he says things like that, but she - falsely - hoped that he was ready..that he would take this serious and actually tell her how he feels. But if she is honest with herself, she knew that she should have kept her expectations low.

"Donna..come on." he says and stands up, seeing that she is about to leave.

"No! You know what Harvey..I am so angry right now..I can't even. But for both our sakes, let's just forget about th-is." she says angrily. She hates how her voice cracked at the end, revealing how broken she feels right about now.

She waits another ten seconds for him to say something, anything at all, but he doesn't. With one last disappointing look she turns around on her heels and leaves his office.

"Donna..wait." he whispers, but she is already gone. He was so caught up in the moment, confused by all the feelings that she could make him feel just within a second. She makes him feel so much more than he ever thought he could feel, so much that he doesn't know how to deal with all of those emotions.

.

"You won't believe what one of the interns' just told me." Mike says after he greeted his wife with a kiss.

"Good evening Rachel...how has your day been, honey? The lunch you cooked for me was really tasty." Rachel replies teasingly.

"Sorry honey..the lunch was really good." he says and poors himself a glass of wine to join Rachel on the couch.

"Soo..what did you wanna tell me about that intern?" she asks with a smile. She loves it when he gets all excited about something.

"Jennifer just told me she was adopted and that she somehow linked her parents back to the firm. I mean can you believe that? What if Louis or even that weird douche one floor beneath us is her father? It could literally be anyone. I mean if I didn't know any better, I would have said that she is Donna's, but.." Mike starts talking like a waterfall, but Rachel doesn't even hear the rest of that sentence. For the second time within a week, all colour leaves her face.

"Hey honey..are you okay?" Mike asks concerned.

"Mike..I think I have to tell you something." Rachel whispers, her eyes dark and serious in a way he has barely ever seen before. She originally planned on keeping this to herself, knowing that Donna and especially Harvey would appreciate it, but knowing this she isn't so sure she can anymore.

"What do you mean?"

"It's about Donna." she states matter-of-factly.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I just wanna thank every single person who reads this story. I hope you like the way it's all coming together. Seriously, when I started writing this story I had no idea it would end up here (don't worry, this is not the last chapter)...I just went with the flow. I really love writing and I love how this story helps me improve my skills. Anyway, have fun reading and thank y'all.**

_January 14th, 2019_

"Donna and Harvey had a baby? Like together..?" Mike asks, still in shock. He knows that they slept together once and he also understands that there are probably a lot of things that happened between his two best friends that he has no clue about, but never would he have guessed something like this.

"Yes..I couldn't believe it either..but the minute you told me about Jennifer.." Rachel thinks out loud, trying to put the pieces together.

"You don't think Jennifer could be their daughter, do you?" he asks, still trying to understand all the newfound information.

"I don't know. Maybe..her hair, her age..it all fits." Rachel mumbles.

"But what does that mean for us?" Mike asks, "I mean we don't know anything with certainty."

"I guess we should talk with Donna about this." Rachel answers.

"But what if she isn't their daughter after all?" Mike thinks out loud.

"It's gonna hurt..I know. But what if she is and we didn't say anything? That would be worse, don't you think? And besides..Donna told me that she regrets her decision..I am sure she would want to know something like this." Rachel says melancholically and Mike nods.

"Okay." he says and she snuggles herself into his embrace. They just hope that it's going to be okay.

_January 15th, 2019_

When Donna enters her office, she feels angry, alone, tired and worst of all: sad. It's never been easy between her and Harvey, but they were in a good place after the whirlwinds of the past weeks and months and she just had to let her feelings take over last night. She is angry with him, sure, but more even with herself. For letting her heart take over, for being so deeply in love with him that she doesn't know how to stop, for setting her expectations to high, for having more faith in him than he deserves. She knows that he deserves and needs it, just like she is counting on him to believe in her, but sometimes she feels like all of that is just for nothing.

She signs when she notices that she forgot to get coffee this morning and stands up to head to the partner's kitchen to grab a cup.

"Donna." Rachel greets her, when she spots Donna walking into the partners' kitchen, but Donna doesn't seem to have heard her.

"Donna, hey can I talk to you for a second?" Rachel asks, when she enters the kitchen a few seconds after Donna. Luckily they are alone.

"What is it, Rachel?" Donna asks, without turning around to look at her friend. She knows that Rachel would be able to look right through her and no matter how much she loves her friends' calming words, nothing she could say could change how she feels right now.

"I need to talk to you about..that thing..you told me a few days ago." Rachel says as quiet as possible, not wanting to be overheard.

"You mean Ava? I really can't deal with that right now, Rachel." she replies and turns around, ready to leave with her freshly brewed cup of coffee in the hand.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asks concerned. She would never say that Donna looks bad, because that is impossible, but she doesn't look good. She seems tired, conflicted and really sad.

"I will be." she replies, knowing fully well that Rachel wouldn't have believed her if she had said that she was, "But forgive me if I can't talk about Ava right now. I know that you told Mike..so if that's what you wanted to tell me, I am fine with it."

And with that being said, Donna disappears out of the kitchen, not even giving Rachel the time to answer. Rachel follows her friend's movement with her eyes and can't help but notice that she is missing the usual swing in her steps, what makes her even more worried. Donna seemed so happy yesterday, so what happened? There are only a few things in the world that can drag Donna down and even though she isn't exactly sure what happened, she knows who happened: Harvey.

"Rach..hey." Mike says, when he carefully gives her shoulder a nudge in order to bring her back to reality.

"Oh..hey." she whispers and places a light kiss on his lips, before bringing a little bit of distance between them by turning away to grab a croissant.

"You okay?" he asks and turns around too.

"Well..I just talked to Donna." Rachel says, trying to keep her voice down.

"I take it that didn't go very well?" he digs deeper.

"Well..I didn't even got the chance to tell her. The moment I mentioned it, she totally shut me out..but I guess that doesn't come as much of a surprise after what happened between her and Harvey yesterday." Rachel mumbles, rather talking with herself than with him.

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"I don't know.." she answers honestly. Instead of asking more questions that she probably doesn't know the answer to, he takes a few steps in her direction.

"You know it's going to be okay right? Donna and Harvey..they will make it through this." he says quietly and offers her a small smile. That's at least what he hopes, but in his experience his friends are really good in making up, which basically means ignoring certain things and feelings until they can't do it anymore. Than they _make up _again and so on.

"Yeah..I guess." Rachel agrees slowly and takes another bite from her crossaint, "You think we should.." She leaves the rest of her sentence unspoken, but he gets it anyway.

"I think, we should keep our eyes and ears open..but maybe this is just a coincidence..you know? Maybe we are just seeing what we wanna see." Mike replies and takes is wife of a few months into his arms.

_Later the same day_

*Knock knock*

Annoyed that he has to get up from the couch at this hour, Harvey opens the door and without any exchange of words, he lets Mike enter. He already knows what Mike is doing here. He is probably gonna try and talk some sense into him and as much Harvey hates those kind of talks, deep down he knows that he needs them. As selfish as it sounds, he needs some encouragement. That is the problem really; whenever it comes to _her _he becomes a f*cking coward. He is always taking risks when it comes to his clients or even when it comes to himself, but never with her. He just can't risk what he has with her for anything in the world. For a long time that seemed like the only real connection, like the only good thing in his life.

Mike pours himself a glass of scotch and takes a seat on Harvey's couch.

"Yeah, of course make yourself at home." Harvey says ironically and sits down on the couch opposite to Mike.

"Why didn't you tell anyone in all those years?" Mike asks after a while and watches Harvey's reaction very closely.

"It's easier. No one judges, no one asks, no one tries to talk you out of it." Harvey replies and Mike nods slowly. A part of him absolutely gets that.

"So what changed?"

"We..I guess." Harvey answer slowly. He never really thought about it, but something changed. Donna changed. He changed..or is changing. Maybe that's why he feels so exposed, because he finally let go of a part of the mask he has been wearing for years.

"Look, Harvey, I am not gonna ask you what happened between you and Donna..but maybe this change that you are both going through..it means that you are ready." Mike says and gives Harvey an encouraging smile, before placing his empty glass on the couch table and standing up.

"Thanks for the scotch. Good night, Harvey..and please stop being afraid. This is a good kind of change." And with that Mike turns around and Harvey can hear the door open and fall into its' lock again just a few seconds later.

Maybe, just maybe, Mike has a point. He is changing. If he is honest, he has been feeling this way for a long time. And maybe, just maybe, he should stop being such a damn coward and just let it happen.

.

No matter how hard she tries to concentrate on her actual work, this whole darvey - as she likes to call them - situation just won't leave her alone. Both of them have been through so much, they really deserve happier times. Shouldn't she at least try and help them figure this out? She looks around, something that is completetly unnecessary, since it's late and most employees already left. She opens the firms' e-mail account, which is only for interns' or Harvard graduates' to send in their applications etc. In her luck, she still remembers the password from her time working as a paralegal.

Rachel scrolls through the mass of e-mails and just starts looking more closely, when she reaches november 2018. That should have been about the time Jennifer send her application. And there it is. Rachel just stares at the laptop for a few seconds, not sure if this is really the right thing to do.

"Come on, Zane. It will be okay." she mumbles to herself and opens the email. She scrolls through the e-mail, most stuff seems pretty irrelevant, until she spots the birthdate. There it is; in black and white, almost proudly, right under her full name. 14th of december, 2004. She only remembers Jennifer's birthdate, because it's her mother's birthday, too. This couldn't be another coincidence, could it? Well, technically speaking it could very well be _just _another coincidence, but a part of her knows that it isn't. It just couldn't be.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I am a bit more active at the moment, because I have two weeks of autumn holidays and therefore more time to write. I will try to keep this up over the next few days, but I can't promise anything. Anyway, I am aware of the fact that the timeline is a little different than the one on the show. Donna is 38 in this story, Harvey is around 40 years old. Mike and Rachel are in their (early/mid-) thirties. Enjoy!  
**

_January 17th, 2019_

"Hey Rach.." Donna says and opens her friend's office door.

"Hey Donna." Rachel replies with a warm smile, "Come in."

"I..just wanted to apologize. I was a little tensed, because of everything that's been going on." Donna says and takes a seat on the chair opposite to Rachel's. The past weeks really have been an emotional rollercoaster for Donna and she would love to have a break from everything that's been going on.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. And if you ever wanna talk about any of that stuff, I would be happy to listen." Rachel replies and smiles in encouragement.

"I know and I am really thankful for that." Donna mumbles, noddingly, "Oh and before I forget it: here is the picture I wanted to show you." Donna hands Rachel the only picture they have of their baby.

"Oh my god. She looks so much like you." Rachel exclaims, staring at the picture with wide eyes. When she looks up at Donna, she notices how much those words hurt her friend and she instantly feels bad. She gives Donna an apologizing smile and Donna nods slowly.

"I guess she does, huh?" Donna whispers, before she gets up, "No..you can keep it." Donna says, when Rachel wants to hand it back to her.

"Okay..thank you." Rachel replies, a little perplexed.

"See you around, I guess?" Donna asks and Rachel nods.

"Hey Donna, wait." Rachel says, just when Donna is about to leave her office, "What do you think about a girls' night this weekend? Just us."

"I would love that." Donna replies with an honest smile. Yeah, maybe a fun girls' night with Rachel is exactly what she needs right now. After all she has got some important decisions to make. About her future, about Harvey more specifically.

Ever since yesterday evening she has been waiting for him to apologize or just talk this through with her, but she hasn't seen or heard from him. As long as she has known him he has always given her reasons to give up on him and as much as she wants to sometimes, there is always something holding her back. Maybe it's her good knowledge of him that keeps her hope- and faithful. After all she knew from the very beginning that he is a good man.

.

Harvey is sitting on his desk chair, looking out of the window, a glass of scotch in the hand. Two days passed since he talked to Mike, three since he made out with Donna on the couch right here in his office. He didn't speak with her ever since, but he isn't necessarily avoiding her either..well okay, maybe that is exactly what he is doing. He knows that she would give him another chance or at least that is what he hopes for and the last thing he wants is to mess that up. He needs to do this the right way. He needs to get it right if she gives him one last chance.

That's why he has been hiding in his office for the past days, trying to figure out what to say and how to put all of his feelings into words. He's good with words in the court room, but words seem to fail him in anything beyond that.

"Mr Specter?" he hears a familiar voice break the trail of his thoughts, "I am sorry, am I interrupting something?

"No, it's fine." he replies and turns around, putting on a fake smile, "What can I do for you?"

"Well, since we were working together today..I wanted to ask if there is something else I should do before I go home?" Jennifer asks with the sweetest smile and for a moment Harvey feels frozen. He can't tell if it's because of the smile or because of the way she makes him think of a younger Donna.

"No, you are free to go." Harvey mumbles and Jennifer nods slowly.

"Okay." she mutters and turns around to leave, but stops right in front of his office door, "At the end of day we just need someone to love us for who we are."

"What did you just say?" Harvey asks perplexed and places his glass on his desk, afraid that it might slip out of his hand if he doesn't.

"Oh..I am sorry, I guess I was thinking out loud again.." Jennifer says and feels the familiar warmth creeping up her cheeks, "I just love this song and I said that at the end of the day we just need someone to love us for who we are. That's the message of the song."

For the second time in less than 5 minutes, Harvey feels frozen. He feels glued to his chair, his thoughts are racing and through the midst of the chaos that is his mind, a realization sets in as clear as a blue sky on a warm summer day. He needs to talk to Donna, he needs to be with her. Right the hell now.

"I am sorry, Jennifer, but I have to go." he mutters and stands up.

"Good night." she whispers, when he walks past her. For a few seconds, she watches him walk or rather run towards the elevators, whilst listening to the rest of the song.

She never told anyone this nor did she admit it to herself, but the song always reminds her of her birth parents. She has no idea when or where that started, but whenever she listens to the song she always imagines "the story" behind the picture that was taken on the day she was born, probably by her grandmother or possibly even her father. If only she knew how right she is.

.

When Harvey arrives at her apartment building and knocks at her door just a few minutes later, he has no idea what to say or do. His mind is blank. But when she opens the door and looks at him with exhausted and sad, yet surprised eyes, he takes a few steps towards her and just presses his lips against hers. She stumbles back not knowing how to react to the way he is acting and he can't blame her. She kisses him back anyway.

"Harvey..." she mumbles into the kiss and he understands. She needs more than this.

"I am so sorry, Donna. I know I have been acting like a jerk. I didn't know how to put my feelings into words and I didn't want to lose my last chance." he starts, cupping her face with his hands and looking her into the eyes, "I love you. In every possible beautiful way you can love another person. And I hope you can give me one last chance."

They still got a lot to figure out, but right now this is more than enough. A big smile grows on her face and he smiles back at her. Their smiles reach their eyes, which are practically glowing from all the love they are feeling at the moment. And he realizes in this moment that she has always been his someone. The someone who loved him despite of his flaws, the only one who ever truly saw him for who he is.

She pushes him against the door, closing it in the process and starts kissing him with a passion that surprises him at first. Their tongues fight and he can feel her starting to loosen his tie, so he begins leaving kisses all over her dekollete, whilst tracing her body up and down with his hands, pressing her even closer against his body.

"I love you." she mumbles and he stops kissing her dekollete and looks up in her eyes. His look reminds her of the one of a little boy who just got promised two balls of ice cream and she can't help but chuckle.

"Come on, you can't be surprised by that." she whispers and she means it. She knows that over the years her love for Harvey has become very visible for not only herself, but also everyone else around them.

He gives her a flirty smirk, before he places his lips on her hers again. This time their movements are driven by lust and passion. After all it's been over a decade since they were this intimate.

.

Back at the firm, Rachel is packing up her stuff, when Jennifer enters her office.

"Shouldn't you be at home?" Rachel asks surprised and is immediately reminded of the evening two days ago, where she found another indication that Jennifer might be Donna and Harvey's daughter. She didn't tell anyone about her findings, because she knows that it could very well be another coincidence, even though she doesn't believe it is.

"Yeah, I was just 'bout to leave, when I saw that you were still here." Jennifer replies, "I am sure Mr Ross told you..what I told him and I just wanted to apologize. It was unprofessional and I shouldn't have asked such a thing."

"No, Jennifer, it's okay. It's very understandable." Rachel argues and gives the girl a warm smile.

"Thank you, that really means a lot to me." Jennifer admits and just when she is about to turn around something on the lawyer's desk catches her attention, "Oh my god."

"What's wrong?" Rachel asks surprised and looks up from packing her stuff into a backpack. Jennifer takes a few steps towards the desk and picks up the small picture. In all the chaos that is her work day and her mind, Rachel totally forgot to put the photo away. After all her office is open for anyone and people would definitely start asking questions and spread rumours if someone found it.

"Where..? How..?" Jennifer stumbles, she feels like she forgot how to structure sentences. Could the woman standing in front of her be her mother? A few days ago she would have said no, because the lawyer would have been around 18 when she would have had Jennifer and even though that would explain the adoption, it wouldn't explain the file on the bed. After all Rachel would have been too young to work at the firm, aside from the fact that they absolutely didn't look alike.

"Why do you have this photo?" Jennifer asks then and looks up from the photo to Rachel and then back at the photo.

"It's..." Rachel starts, but she has no idea what to say, so she avoids answering by asking another question in return, "How do you know this picture?"

"That's me. I am the baby on this photo." Jennifer whispers and Rachel is frozen. As much as she suspected this, the truth hits harder than she thought it would. And the worst thing is, she has no idea what to say or do now without giving Donna and Harvey away.


	10. Chapter 10

_January 18th, 2019_

When Donna wakes up, she can feel the sun shining through the curtains and on her face. She sits up and looks to her right, only to find the other bedside empty. For a moment she asks herself if she made everything up, if it was just another dream of hers caused by her lonely and sex-deprived mind. But it all felt so incredibly real last night and she is pretty sure that no matter what she couldn't have made that up.

"Morning sunshine." Harvey says when he enters her bedroom, two cups of coffee in the hand.

"Wow that smells really good." she replies, when he sits down on the edge of the bed and hands her one of the two cups with freshly brewed coffee. He greets her with a soft kiss on the lips that makes all her worries and doubts disappear. He has a way of making her feel like everything is going to be okay.

"How are you feeling?" Harvey asks, almost shy, when he tucks a loose strand of her fiery red hair behind her ear. His hand rests on her cheek, softly caressing it and no matter how hard she tries she just can't stop smiling.

"I am feeling good..really good." she whispers honestly and looks up at him, "What about you?"

"Never been better." he replies softly and they both know that it's the truth.

"You know I could really get used to this..you bringing me coffee to bed in the morning." she says with a chuckle and begins drawing little circles on his topless torso.

"You like what you see?" he asks with a dirty smirk. He is only wearing boxers, since she is wearing his t-shirt with the initals H.S. printed on the sleeve. He wishes he could take a picture or just stop the time..at least for a little while. He loves their little bubble. Just the two of them.

"Well.." Donna starts in the same playful tone, when her phone starts buzzing, "Saved by the bell." She teases him and picks up her phone, which is buzzing to remind her of the meeting she has in an hour, only to realize how late it already is.

"It's already 9 o'clock? Harvey! We should be at work! Why didn't you wake me earlier?" she exclaims and softly punches him against the shoulder.

"Well..after the night we had.." he starts, but she silences him by putting her finger on his mouth, when she sees the 13 missed calls from Rachel and one unheard voicemail. She gets out of bed, already feeling a little unsettled, because she knows Rachel would never call her so many times if it wasn't important.

_Hi Donna..I am sorry for calling so many times, but this is really important. We need to talk. Please call or text me as soon as you hear this!_

Rachel's voice seems uncertain and helpless, almost shaky and Donna can practically feel her stomach turn upside down.

"Hey is everything okay?" Harvey asks and when he turns around to look at her, he got his answer, "What's wrong?"

"Rachel left me a really weird voicemail..and she called me 13 times! Something happened...we need to get to the firm immediately." Donna replies, trying to stay as calm as possible.

"Donna, hey!" Harvey mutters and hugs his _girlfriend_, trying to calm her down, "Whatever this is about it's going to be okay."

"You are right. It's gonna be okay." she says, rather talking to herself than to him, "Now let's get you into that fine-ass suit of yours and head to the firm."

He chuckles at the expression and watches her unbutton his shirt to hand it back to him, "I guess round 7 has to wait.."

"It does." she says and presses her now naked top against his, before placing a light kiss on his lips. She knows that this will drive him crazy, but she has to be careful; she isn't totally immune to his charms either. Especially after the night they spent together.

"But you do know that I am coming over again this evening, right?" he mumbles and tries his hardest not to stare so obviously.

"Yes, Harvey, I do know that." she replies and bites her bottom lip, already looking forward to it. She places another kiss on his lips, her arms are resting around his neck, pulling him closer and she finds herself wishing that this moment would never pass.

.

When they arrive at the firm about 45 minutes later, round 7 did very much happen and both Donna and Harvey are smiling like idiots.

"Harvey..what are we gonna do..I mean should we tell people..about us?" Donna asks, as soon as the elevator doors close and they are alone, at least for a few seconds or minutes - if they are lucky.

"I would like that." he says and she nods softly. They spent years denying and downplaying their feelings for each other and with them practically glowing it would only be a matter of time until people would figure it out anyway.

Their hands intertwine and for the rest of the ride they are quiet, both thinking about last night and preparing for a busy work day. If he is honest with himself, Harvey has no idea how to concentrate on getting any work done with all the vivid memories they created til the early hours of the morning.

She gives him a peck on the lips and let's go of his hand just before the elevator doors open on the 50th floor.

.

After a long and pretty boring meeting, Donna heads to Rachel's office, since she promised to come by as soon as the meeting is over.

"Where is Harvey?" Rachel asks as Donna comes in.

"What? You didn't say anything about Harvey being a part of this." Donna replies, "What is going on here, Rach?"

Rachel is tired and the dark rings under her eyes give that away. Well, how could she sleep after everything that happened last night? Before she can answer or rather avoid answering by asking another question, Harvey knocks on her office door.

"What is this? Another one of Mike's brilliant ideas to get us together?" Harvey jokes, trying to lighten the mood and for a moment Rachel seems irritated by the happiness in his voice.

"No and I think you should sit down for this." Rachel says and sits down herself.

"What is going on here, Rachel?" Donna asks for the second time.

"I think you need to sit down for this." Rachel repeats and both Harvey and Donna sit down across from her. They look at Rachel with big eyes, not sure what is happening.

Rachel stares at them for a moment, not sure when and where to start and how to explain everything in just a few sentences. And as difficult as this is going to be, she has to do it, even though she knows that is absolutely not the right time. But maybe it will help them find each other again after the fall-out they had a few days ago - that's at least what she hopes - so she tells them everything.

"Wait, what?" Donna says as soon as Rachel is done, "Is this true? Oh my god..I can't believe this..what the f*ck is happening here?" Donna stands up, she can't keep on sitting there, motionless, and starts walking up and down in the office. Her hand wanders to her head and she starts rubbing her temple as a way of preventing the headache that is slowly creeping in from the flood of thoughts.

Harvey stands up too, unsure of what to say or do, so he hugs Donna, forcing her to stop her nervous walking in the process. She immediately calms down a little bit and buries her head in his shoulder. Rachel watches the - to her - quite unfamiliar closeness between her friends and realizes that they must have made up. She would ask Donna about that later.

"Jennifer..the intern..she's...our daughter?" Donna asks and tears herself a little bit from his grip, to be able to look at Rachel.

"I mean if you want 100% certainty, you should probably do a DNA-test, but yeah..she is." Rachel answers quietly.

"What did you tell her? I mean when she found the photo?" Harvey asks, when he recovered from the first shock and got his voice back. His mind is mess and he still doesn't know how to fit in all the newfound information.

"I told her that it's the picture of a friend's baby that was just born and that she is probably just mistaken." Rachel replies, "I know that isn't gonna keep her from asking more questions soon, but I didn't know what else to say."

.

"I can't believe this..I just can't get it through my head.." Donna mumbles, as they return to her office. For months or rather for years, Donna wanted to know her daughter and even though she is happy to finally know that her daughter is doing okay and has actually grown into a beautiful teenager, she doesn't know how to fit in all of that information. She feels completely overwhelmed.

"Well..do you want to talk to her?" Harvey asks quietly. He has been working with Ava or Jennifer, as her adoptive parents must have named her, and she seems like a really nice girl. A feeling of pride overcomes him, before he remembers that he "only" created and not raised her. Whoever raised her did a pretty good job and he is glad that she got her talent and her love for the work as a lawyer from him. At least there is something that connects them aside from the same genes.

"I mean..I guess that would be fair for her, don't you think? And isn't this what we wanted anyway?" Donna answers after a while and searches for his eyes. She would love to just hug him and bury her head in his neck, but she isn't ready for the whole world to know about them just yet. She wants to at least tell their closest friends first.

"It is." he agrees with a soft smile.

"So we are doing this? We are telling her..that we are her parents?" Donna asks and he can hear excitement as well as nervosity in her voice, what pretty much sums up how he feels, too.

"I guess we are."

.

Jennifer enters Donna's office, wondering why Donna wants to speak with her. For a second her mind wanders to the talk she had with Mrs Zane last evening and she wonders if Donna could have something to do with all of this. She shakes the thought as far into the back of her mind as possible, knowing that it is very unlikely.

"What is this about? Do you need my help with anything..because I would love to-" Jennifer starts and looks back and forth between Donna and Harvey, who seem a bit churned up in her opinion, when Donna interrupts her.

"No, that isn't what this is about. I mean that's really sweet of you to offer, but no, that is not why we need to talk to you." Donna says and exchanges a look with Harvey, who nods in encouragement.

"Okay.." Jennifer replies and waits for Donna or Harvey to say somthing.

"We know that this might not be the right place..or time to talk, but Rachel..I mean Mrs Zane..told us that you were looking for your birth parents..so we thought you would wanna know." Donna starts and waits for Jennifer to connect the dots in her head.

"Mrs Zane..my birth parents.." Jennifer mumbles and looks back and forth between Donna and Harvey. You can literally see when the penny drops and Jennifer gasps.

"Yes..we are your birth parents." Harvey confirms slowly.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: I don't know if I am 100% content with this chapter..but here we go. I hope you like it!**

_January 18th, 2019_

"Oh my god." Jennifer says, she can feel the tears burn in her eyes and before she can try to hold them back, they find their way and roll down her cheeks.

"Hey.." Donna says, unsure of what to do, so Jennifer makes that decision for her. She takes a few steps in their direction and falls into Donna's arms, where she begins sobbing. She buries her head in Donna's dress and motions Harvey, who is standing a few inches behind Donna, to come closer.

"It's gonna be okay." Donna mumbles into the hair of her red-headed daughter, when she feels Harvey wrapping his arms around them. And even though they have no idea how all of this is gonna work or what all of this even means, for a second they are a real family. Just like on the day Ava was born.

Jennifer lets herself go for a few minutes and she feels like all the weight that she has been carrying around is lifted off her shoulders. She feels so safe in _their _embrace and even though she doesn't know them, it feels like she has known them her whole life. She slowly tears herself from their embrace and wipes away her tears, only to notice that both Donna and Harvey have tears in their eyes, too.

"Oh my god.." Jennifer mumbles and begins rubbing her temple the same way Donna had just an half an hour before and a small smile grows on Harvey's face, "Did you know all along?"

"No..we just found out. We are the people on the picture. Donna is the woman, who is holding you in her arms...and I am the one who took the picture." Harvey replies and shows her the picture he has been keeping in his wallet for more than 14 years now. It's a little crooked, but Jennifer's heart makes a leap out of joy, when she realizes that he must have been carrying the photo around for a long time. _So they didn't forget about her._

"What does all of this mean?" Jennifer asks the question they all have been asking themselves, since they found out.

"Whatever you want it to." Donna says with a small smile, "We are here and we don't go anywhere."

"If you want us to be a part of your life, we would love to be." Harvey adds and for a second Jennifer seems a little surprised.

"Why did you give me up then?" she asks, trying to hide the pain that decision caused her. She doesn't mean to sound angry, because she isn't, but she wants to know and she has a right to know, before she makes any kind of decision regarding the future.

"We were young..and stupid. We were just at the beginning of our careers..and we weren't even a couple." Donna tries to explain. She knows it isn't much of an explanation, but she doesn't know what else to say, because lately she has been asking herself the same question.

Jennifer nods slowly. A part of her gets that and even though she barely knows them, her gut tells her that they were just trying to do what was best for her. And she does have a pretty great life, not easy, like any teenager's life, but she has great parents and of course Avery, her very favorite person and best friend forever. She was also the first one to ask why Jennifer wants to find her birth parents then. And after days of thinking about that very question, Jennifer knew the answer: she always felt a little out of place, like she didn't completely belong to her surroundings.

And when she hugged them, it felt completely right. Since she has been "working" at the firm, it's been feeling right. Even though that is what she hoped for, it also scares her, because she has no idea what to do now.

.

"Hey honey." Mike says, when he enters Rachel's office. She looks up and even though she is very tired, her face automatically lits up when she sees him.

"Hey.." she replies and he takes a seat on her desk, takes her hand into his and places a soft kiss on hers to catch her full attention.

"Did you sleep here or something? I didn't notice you coming home last night and when I woke up this morning, you were already gone." Mike asks and tenderly caresses her cheek, when he notices the dark rings under her eyes.

"Yeah..I mean no, I didn't sleep here..I just had to take care of some stuff." Rachel replies and as much as that is the truth, she is kinda glad she didn't have to face him last night or this morning, because she hates lying to him and she wanted to talk to Donna and Harvey first.

"Anything I can help you with?" he digs deeper.

"Well, I guess there is no harm in telling you now..Jennifer is Donna and Harvey's daughter." she answers and watches all color leave his face for a change.

"Oh my god! What? How.." Mike stumbles.

"Donna had pretty much the same reaction when I told them." she mumbles and chuckles softly.

"So they know..but how do you know?" Mike asks, so Rachel tells him the whole story too, "So, they are telling her right now?"

"Yeah, I guess." Rachel says and seems a bit distant, already lost in her thoughts again.

"Hey what do you say we grab a bagel and a coffee downstairs?" he proposes and she agrees noddingly. He knows that she probably hasn't eaten anything yet and she could definitely use some coffee, since he already knows that she would never agree to go home before 5pm just to get some well deserved rest.

.

The talk with Jennifer went surprisingly well - as far as you can say that in this context - and even though she feels like she is being selfish, she hopes that Jennifer at least wants to get to know them. She knows that Jen owes them nothing and whoever her parents are, she is eternally grateful for them for raising the girl she and Harvey brought into the world. She has become a beautiful young lady. And that's all she ever hoped for. However, a part of her also hopes that she will get a second chance.

"Where do you keep your cutlery?" Harvey's voice comes from her kitchen and pulls her out of her thoughts. He decided to cook something for them, he even set up some candles and slipped into the white sweater he knows she likes so much.

"Top shelf on the right." she replies, when she slips into a black figure hugging dress. She checks herself in the mirror and nods satisfied. It's not unusual for her to wear rather figure hugging dresses, but this one is special, because she wants to sweep him off his feet. She knows she has swept him off his feet a lot of times before and she always loved it, but it's different now. They are together now.

She adds some lovely earrings to her outfit and strolls out of her bedroom into the kitchen, which is the dining room at the same time. A smile appears on her face, when she spots him already seated. He looks so good in that white sweather of his and she still can't believe that this is more than just a dream. The smell of spaghetti bolognese is awakening her senses and the few candles he found actually turn it into kind of a romantic dinner.

"Thanks for doing all this." she says and he looks up, but he isn't smiling.

"What is this?" he asks and holds up a piece of paper that she immediately recognizes. She signs and lets herself fall onto the chair opposite to him.

"It's my CV, an employment ad for a job in Seattle..and a description for a little apartment close to the job." she admits quietly, as if he didn't already get that much from the papers that are laying in front of him.

"I can see that..but what does all that mean? Do you wanna move?" he asks. She can hear the angst in his voice and it breaks her heart to hear it and see it in his eyes, too.

"No! No, of course not." she answers, stands up and walks over to him to take his hand into hers, "I don't wanna leave. Not New York, not the firm..and _especially not you_. It's just..after our fight a few days ago, I realized that I couldn't keep doing this..and that I needed to move away..to be able to move on."

He nods slowly and gets up, too. His hands find their way to her waist and his thumb automatically begins drawing little circles on her hips. It's a simple touch, but it makes the butterflies fly like crazy in her stomach.

"So..you are happy?" he asks and tilts his head a little to be able to look her in the eyes.

"I am. So happy." she assures him with a smile, because it it the truth. She doesn't recall a moment where she has been as happy as she is right now. It all seems to be working out right now.

"That's good." he whispers, a smile returned to his face.

"Yeah..and why is that?" she replies teasingly.

"Because I am too." he says with such certainty that she doesn't doubt it for a second. A beautiful smile is plastered on her face and next thing she knows, his lips are on hers, their tongues are fighting a battle and he is pressing her against the kitchen counter. They part breathlessly, their foreheads are resting against each other's.

"You are amazing." Harvey whispers.

"I know."

"That dress is incredible hot, by the way." he adds and earns himself another kiss.

"Thank you." she whispers against his lips, before they meet for another kiss.

.

"Hey Ave..can we meet at the Central Park in a half an hour?" Jennifer asks, when Avery finally picks up her phone.

"Yeah okay, sure. You want me to bring some chocolate?" Avery replies, she can already feel that this isn't just a "normal" meet up between best friends.

"That sounds really good." Jennifer agrees, a soft smile on her lips. Avery knows her so well. And damn it, they are going to need every piece of chocolate they can get.

A half an hour later Avery is already sitting on one of the benches in their favorite part of the park, a rather quiet corner.

"Hey." Jennifer greets her and Avery gets up to hug her friend, "Thanks for meeting me."

"Of course." Avery replies, a fond smile on her lips, "Now sit down, so I can finally open that bar of chocolate."

Jennifer chuckles at the statement and they both take a seat on the bench. Luckily Avery also brought a picnic blanket, so that they won't get cold. Most of the snow already melted away, at least here in the city, but it is still very cold.

"So, what's going on?" Avery asks directly and even though it takes some time, Jennifer tells her everything. From the talk with Mrs. Zane to talk with her birth parents, Donna Paulsen and Harvey Specter.

"Wow." Avery exclaims, when Jennifer is done talking, "This is-"

"Crazy?" Jennifer offers, seeing that Avery is searching for the right word.

"Yeah, something like that." she replies and nods slowly, needing a moment to process all the information she just got, before realizing that this isn't about her, "So..how are you dealing with all of this?"

"I don't know, honestly. All this is so overwhelming." Jennifer mumbles, a bit distracted, whilst putting another piece of chocolate in her mouth.

"Yeah, I can understand that." Avery says and gives her friend a reassuring smile, "This is a lot to process and understand..but I think deep down you already know what you want."

"You think?"

"I do."

"So is it bad that I wanna meet them? That I wanna get to know them?" Jennifer asks and a single tear escapes her eye and rolls down her cheek. Those kind of thoughts have been hauting her for months, but they took overhand ever since her talk with Donna and Harvey.

"No..why would you say that?" Avery asks and she can feel her heart break, when she sees the pain in her friend's eyes.

"I love my parents. I love John and Valerie. They raised me with love..and I am so lucky to have them...why is that not enough for me? I want it to be, but it's not. I have got everything, but it's not enough for me. What's wrong with me, huh?" Jennifer explains, her voice getting higher and higher.

"Jen, hey, honey, listen to me. First of all, it's okay. Because sometimes even the best people with the best intentions are not right for us. That's not our fault. That's just the way it is. That's life." Avery says and tries to calm her friend down.

"Life's messed up." Jennifer replies and a few tears roll down her cheeks. Avery softly wipes them away with her thump.

"It is. But second of all, you once told me that you don't feel like you belong to something, like you don't fit. And you also just told me that for the first time in your life, you feel like you belong to something. Like you are right, excatly were you are." Avery adds and Jennifer looks up at her.

"So my parents won't hate me if I would like to get to know them better?" Jennifer asks, almost anxious. She is so overwhelmed from everything that's been happening, everything that she has been feeling, especially since they started at the firm that she doesn't really know how to handle all the emotions and feelings anymore.

"No, of course not. It won't be easy for them, but you gotta understand where they are coming from. But at the end of the day they love you and just want you to be happy." Avery assures her and she knows it's the truth. She knows the Brown's pretty well, even though they have only been friends for a year, and Jennifer knows that.

"God I..I am so sorry..this is just all so overwhelming. Thank you, Ave." Jennifer says and there is honest gratitude and love in her eyes.

"Always Jen, always."

And even though she is probably going to feel guilty for some time, she knows that Avery is right. She knows what the right thing to do is. Deep down she has always known. And despite all her doubts, she can't wait to actually meet them. To get to know them. To hear their story. To answer some questions she knows only they can answer. A smile appears on her face. Yeah, she really can't wait.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Hey guys, I am sorry for not uploading in a month. I have been extremely busy with school and I feel like I need to work more on my mental health in the weeks to come. Writing has always been a coping mechanism for me, but I don't know...anyway I hope you all are doing alright. After some time of consideration, I decided that this is going to be the last chapter. I know it might seem a little rushed, but I wouldn't have been able to continue this story, so I thought you guys at least deserve a proper ending. It's been fun writing and I hoped you liked reading it too, but I think the story has to come to an end. I know the ending might be a bit cheesy, but I am just a sucker for happy endings. I wish each and every one of you a good day and would like to thank you for your constant support!  
**

_July 22nd, 2019_

After some long and at times quite difficult talks, Donna and Harvey now get to see Jennifer every few weeks. She's even been to Cabo with them for a week, today is actually their last day. While Donna is getting ready for dinner at the hotel restaurant, Harvey and Jennifer are sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Can I ask you something?" Jennifer asks after a while of silently watching a spanish soap opera.

"Sure." Harvey replies with a smile.

"Why didn't you and mom got together back then? I mean, when she found out that she was pregnant. From what you've told me, it's pretty clear that you already were in love with one another back then." Jennifer says slowly. It's something she has been asking herself for quite a while now, maybe it's because she wants to understand why things happened the way they did or maybe it's just her curiosity getting the better of her. Or maybe it's a mix of both.

Harvey turns his head to catch her eye and turns off the TV, before turning around completely.

"It's complicated, honey. We were friends, best friends and we..I..wasn't ready." he admits, not completely sure how to explain it in a way that is understandable, because sometimes he finds himself searching for an explanation.

"Okay." Jennifer agrees slowly, "And now you are?"

Harvey nods slowly, a smile spreading across his face, "Yes."

She grins happily, before taking the TV remote out of his hand, surprising him with her action, "Now it's my turn to choose the program."

He can't help but smile at how much she reminds him of Donna in that moment, "Can I tell you a secret?" he asks, after he made sure that the water in the shower was still running and there was no way that Donna would be able to overhear them.

.

"You know how much I love this vacation, but I can't wait to head home." Donna says, while she searchs for the right thing to wear. Her body and her hair is wrapped in a towel.

"We are workaholics. Always have been and probably always will be." Harvey replies with the hint of a smile, as he watches her. She nods in agreement, as she fishes a black dress out of the closet.

"What do you think?" she asks, as she critically checks herself in the mirror. It's not like she needs his approval or anything, she just wants this evening to be extra special.

"You look beautiful." he whispers and as if wanting to prove his seriousness, he gets up and slowly moves towards her. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer, until her bare skin touches his thin layer of clothes, "So beautiful."

She can't help but giggle, before he leans in to brush his lips with hers. She has to tip toe, when their lips meet for a soft kiss, full of love and admiration.

"Thanks for bringing me here." she whispers against his lips and feels his face light up at her words. But instead of answering, he presses his lips against hers a second time. This time the kiss is more demanding and she deepens it even more by slipping her tongue into his mouth.

"Hey guys, I am ready to go." Jennifer's voice brings them back to reality.

"Guess we will have to continue this later." he says and places another kiss on her lips, before slipping out of the room to give her some space to get ready.

She watches him leave the room and asks herself how she got so lucky, as she slips into the dress. The past few months haven't been easy, after all they finally became a couple and obviously had to adjust to some changes, and at the same time they got to know their 'long-lost' daughter. He was her rock in those moments, where everything seemed to fall apart and right there to celebrate, when things were looking good. There isn't a doubt in her mind that they will be able to handle whatever life throws at them in the future and she can't wait for what's ahead of them.

Donna is styling her hair, when her thoughts wander to Jennifer. This girl has really got the best of her and Harvey, as well as of her adoptive parents Max and Lucy. A huge smile appears on her face, when she thinks back to the first time Jennifer called her by the name 'mom' instead of Donna or simply Don.

_FLASHBACK: June 16th, 2019_

_"Hey can you help me with my hair?" Jennifer asks, when she spots Donna in the door._

_"Sure, sweetie." Donna replies and takes a seat next to her daughter. Jennifer is getting ready for a rather formal birthday party of one of her friends' and is unsure of what to do with her hair, so she lets Donna decide. She admires Donna's style and knows that she will pick just the right hairdo for the occasion.  
_

_"Okay, I think you are good to go." Donna says after a while and Jennifer turns around to be able to look in the mirror._

_"Wow." she whispers as she admires her hair._

_"So you like it?" Donna asks, almost a little nervous. All this parenting stuff is still new to her._

_"I do. Thank you." she replies and hugs Donna a little thighter than planned, "Thanks mom."_

_PRESENT TIME: July 22nd, 2019_

"So..are you still planning on doing this today?" Jennifer asks, when Harvey closes the door to the bedroom and they take their seats on the couch again, waiting for Donna to be ready, too.

"Yeah, I mean unless you don't think it's the right time..with this being a family get away and all." Harvey replies and turns his head to the left to catch her eye.

"No, I think it's perfect." Jennifer assures him, "I would love to be a part of it."

"You would love to be a part of what?" Donna asks, when she emerges from their room, fully dressed and styled.

"Damn, you look great, mom." Jennifer says, using the moment to change the subject. She admires the black dress, before her eyes flicker to Harvey, who hasn't said anything yet. She softly nudges him against the shoulder to get him out of his trance.

"Wow." he stammers and Jennifer can't help but smile, when she sees the way he looks at her. His face is totally relaxed and he has got so much love in his eyes that she wants to stop time and take a picture, because it's the way she wants her future husband to look at her.

"I will take that as a compliment." Donna chuckles, when she makes her way to the door, shortly followered by Harvey and Jennifer.

"Believe me, it is a compliment." Jennifer assures her and Harvey just grins and she knows that he is gonna show her just how much he loves the dress later when they are alone.

A little bit later they are sitting at one of the tables, enjoying the food, whilst chatting about anything and everything. Jennifer tells them about school and her dance lessons and Harvey and Donna tell her about their past. It's pretty much what they did all week, but neither of them minds it one bit. After filling their stomachs, they decide to take a walk on the beach and enjoy the sunset in Cabo one last time, before returning to their hectic lives in NYC.

"I love New York, but I gotta say..this feels like paradise." Jennifer says after a while of strolling at the beach, Donna and Harvey are walking next to her, their hands are intertwined, as they make their way to a little bench.

"It does." Donna signs.

They take a seat on the bench and watch as the sun sets at the horizont and the sky turns all pink ad violett. And in that moment they all wanna stop time for a little bit. The sand is still warm between their toes and the waves are softly breaking at the shore. Harvey glances at Jennifer and she nods at him encouragely. She is the one who first helped him get his sh*t together, even though she probably doesn't know it, and now she is here to witness them taking the next step. There couldn't be a better time or place.

"Okay uhm.." Harvey starts and gets up, letting go of Donna's hand in the process.

"What..why are you getting up?" Donna asks surprised, worry flickering in her eyes, when she sees how nervous he is, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing, this is perfect. All of this." Harvey assures her and with another glance to Jennifer, he feels ready, "I know this is a little cheesy, with the sunset and everything, but I would have done it anywhere, because it's just the right time."

Donna feels her heart take a leap of joy, when she realizes where this is headed. Even though she thought about it from time to time, she didn't see it coming..and that makes it even more perfect. For once she is glad that she can't always read him like an open book.

"The past half a year has been the best of my life and I wouldn't want to spend the years I have got left with anybody else but you, Donna." he continues and slowly gets down on one knee, "Donna Roberta Paulsen, will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course, yes." Donna says and she can't help but tear up a little, when she hugs him. He knows there is so much more to say, so much more that he could say, but that's something he just wants to say to her and besides, he has gotta save something for the vows.

"Jeez Harve, how much did you pay for this?" Donna asks, when he slips the ring on her finger and she leans down a little to place a kiss on her future husband's mouth.

"A lot." Jennifer chimes in, a happy smile on her face.

"Are you okay?" Donna asks, when she notices the tears on her daughter's face. Donna's thumb softly wipes them away and begins caressing Jennifer's cheek.

"Yes! I am just so happy." she says and a few more tears escape her eyes.

"Me too, honey, me too." Donna replies and pulls her daughter in for a hug, they are both crying happy tears now, "I am so happy, too."

Harvey watches the scene that is unfolding infront of him, a cherish cat grin on his face. He is happy, too. The happiest he has ever been. He gets pulled into the group hug by Jennifer and their eyes lock for a few moments. He mouths a thank you and she nods.

And for a few minutes it feels like the world has stopped turning and it's just them. A happy family.

**THE END**


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